PLAY is the language, TOYS are the words!

Children communicate best through play and, in effect, use toys as their words to express their pain as well as their joy. Play therapists not only use this form of communication with children to help them heal, but they also teach parents to communicate with their child in this special way. Typically, this involves specific toys, metaphors, role playing, creative arts, fantasy, and games. Although some of the techniques could be employed by parents, most would work better with the help of a professional play therapist. For instance, it is easy to instruct a child to “draw a family.” However, play therapists are trained to find meaning in the distance between family members, their relative size, and the order in which they are drawn. Adults not trained in play therapy might misinterpret this meaning and respond defensively, which can harm the relationship and communication between adult and child.

Play therapists introduce each activity with a rationale in mind and choose age appropriate materials that allow children the freedom to express themselves.  They might have the child form a piece of clay into a monster figure to represent the scary element of a child’s nightmare. This makes a child’s fears concrete and more manageable. It helps the child to externalize the problem and perceive it as outside and separate from him or herself. 

Children under 12 will especially benefit from play therapy because they haven’t yet developed the vocabulary to speak about their problems. Some don’t even recognize that they are struggling. Adolescents and adults who are comfortable with metaphors and willing to explore their issues can also benefit from seeing and experiencing problems through play in ways that they have not before.

Play therapy is a suitable and engaging process for anyone who wants to learn more about themselves.

Christmas is for Kids

I am often asked to comment on how many gifts are appropriate for kids. Hard question to answer?  Not really. My gift giving guide for kids looks like this: Something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read.

Take advantage of the time you are given over the holidays to get down on the floor and play with your kids or challenge your teens in a video game.

 Cheers and Happy Holidays

Do’s & Don’ts To Keep In Mind Between Sessions

It normally takes a few sessions for a child or teenager to warm up to their counsellor/ therapist. Encouraging your child/teen to attend at least three times before allowing them to quit is prudent. Always respect your child’s decision. It may be that the counsellor you have chosen is just not the right fit.

Here are some helpful do’s and don’ts:

DO NOT force your child to come to play sessions. If there is a problem bringing your child to sessions, please call or email your therapist to consult.

DO NOT give consequences or any punishments if your child refuses to come to his or her play sessions.

DO NOT bribe your child to go to play sessions. i.e. if you go to see this person, I will take you to MacDonald’s afterwards.

If your child shows you a painting or their sand play after the session, DO NOT praise them or say anything along the lines of “It’s a beautiful picture”, “Wow…you did good.” DO thank them for showing you their creation or DO say something neutral, “I see that there are a lot of things you put in there, I see different colours etc.”

If your child shows you their sand play in the sandbox:

o    DO NOT touch any objects in the box

o    DO NOT make guesses or interpretations about what they put in the box

o    DO tell them you are curious and ask them if they would like to tell you a little bit about it

After the session, DO NOT ask your child “Did you behave?” “Did you listen to ____?” “Did you help clean up?” “Did you do what he / she asked you to?” or “How do you like it?” Sometimes it is hard for children to articulate their experience in play therapy. A child may be afraid to upset parents. It is better to talk to your therapist about your child’s progress.

DO feel confident that you have chosen play therapy as a developmentally appropriate  treatment that will support your child’s wellbeing.